anyway now that I’m full of Guilt and Shame about the person I used to be, I have about two hours to fill and the only things I absolutely need to do during that time are finally take a shower and then walk Hazy (in the rain, in December, in ANCHORAGE), and otherwise there are many things I can and should do but I probably only have time for one, which means DECISION CRISIS WHEEEE:

  • more PC troubleshooting
  • work on Etsy order
  • play more Silent Hill because I don’t have many chances for that
  • call legislators
  • try to figure out DW

also I’m almost positive I’m forgetting something

thelightofthingshopedfor:

ohhhh my god I just made the mistake of looking at my DW profile page, which was imported straight from LJ like seven or eight years ago (and even then, a lot of it probably hadn’t been updated in a few years), and it’s…it’s so fucking bad. like it’s embarrassingly melodramatic and pretentious but also

  • a link to download Firefox
  • my fucking Gaia Online avatar
  • a little banner for a wallpaper site I liked
  • a string of nonsense “Geek Code” (link now defunct) and a little “I am a total geek” banner
  • mention of being a “gammar nazi”
  • identifying as a conservative Christian
  • self-righteously proclaiming that I hate ship wars and don’t believe in slash (what the actual fuck, past me)

like on the one hand I guess it’s not awful to have such a stark reminder of how much I’ve changed, and in general I’m trying to have compassion for my previous self who said and believed shitty things because she was basically indoctrinated as a kid, didn’t really know better at that point, and was only just starting a gradual journey toward less awful beliefs, but…fucking yikes. and of course it wasn’t really an issue when I wasn’t using it, but now that a lot of people are migrating to DW, I need to change it and also probably see what kind of awful garbage ended up in my entries when I originally imported from LJ and then decide whether it’s bad enough that I want to trash the whole thing and start over (except I’d still like to keep the username) or if I can delete/lock all my old entries

or, I suppose, if I actually want the old garbage there as a record, and to a certain extent I do because that was also me, once, and it’s not such a bad thing to remember who I used to be and recognize I’m an example of the fact that people can change for the better, but…just…

fucking yikes

oh my fucking god I had the tag “conservatives have more fun” and I used it on one entry where I whined about going to a “liberal university” and linked to an opinion piece I wrote for the campus paper about the evils of abortion. at this point I don’t even understand how I got here from there. like…I really cannot emphasize enough how much Past Me and Current Me are fundamentally different people, almost polar opposites. Past Me would be horrified and probably disgusted by Current Me but on the other hand the feeling is super mutual, so like

ohhhh my god I just made the mistake of looking at my DW profile page, which was imported straight from LJ like seven or eight years ago (and even then, a lot of it probably hadn’t been updated in a few years), and it’s…it’s so fucking bad. like it’s embarrassingly melodramatic and pretentious but also

  • a link to download Firefox
  • my fucking Gaia Online avatar
  • a little banner for a wallpaper site I liked
  • a string of nonsense “Geek Code” (link now defunct) and a little “I am a total geek” banner
  • mention of being a “gammar nazi”
  • identifying as a conservative Christian
  • self-righteously proclaiming that I hate ship wars and don’t believe in slash (what the actual fuck, past me)

like on the one hand I guess it’s not awful to have such a stark reminder of how much I’ve changed, and in general I’m trying to have compassion for my previous self who said and believed shitty things because she was basically indoctrinated as a kid, didn’t really know better at that point, and was only just starting a gradual journey toward less awful beliefs, but…fucking yikes. and of course it wasn’t really an issue when I wasn’t using it, but now that a lot of people are migrating to DW, I need to change it and also probably see what kind of awful garbage ended up in my entries when I originally imported from LJ and then decide whether it’s bad enough that I want to trash the whole thing and start over (except I’d still like to keep the username) or if I can delete/lock all my old entries

or, I suppose, if I actually want the old garbage there as a record, and to a certain extent I do because that was also me, once, and it’s not such a bad thing to remember who I used to be and recognize I’m an example of the fact that people can change for the better, but…just…

fucking yikes

etirabys:

The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous startups in Silicon Valley, I will spare the whole place for their sake.” Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five startups?” // “If I find forty-five there,” God said, “I will not destroy it.”

…
The two venture capitalists arrived at Palo Alto in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. … They did go with him and entered his $0.9m one-bedroom home. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without gluten, and they ate. Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of Silicon Valley—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can pitch our startups to them.”